a day

this day last year i was in fiji.
right about here...

it was a fantastic trip -
with so many great memories.
i never would have thought it so a few years ago -
but i really love travelling.
i have been so fortunate to have seen
other parts of the world.
to experience different cultures,
and landscapes,
and foods,
and people & traditions.
but i also know that i am very fortunate
to come back home.
to a wonderful house,
and bed,
and friends & family.

today i am baking a jillion cupcakes
for our church valentines party -
and i'm building one of those
funky sewn paper banners
i see all over your blogs
to decorate.

i taped up the trial run in the studio.
i think the shapes are too far apart on the strings
so i will make them closer together for the final cut.
hopefully i remember to take photos at the party.
so what are you doing for valentines day?
i know there are some readers out there -
i see it on my stats - so c'mon -
make a comment or two.

a drag

my life used to be simpler.

i'm not exactly sure what changed in me.

when we were newly married

we lived in a smaller house -

we had less money -

less responsibilities.

i had smaller kids

and more time.

we did lots of fun stuff together.

and i seemed to be able to accomplish 

enough to be satisfied.

i was a dreamer

and worked towards
making my dreams a reality.
now i feel more tired -
i like time alone,
and sometimes my dreams  -
seem more like a nuisance.
oh - kind of a sad-ish post -
maybe that's what being sick at home
does to me.
on a happier note...

i want to congratulate my friend 'r' -
on the birth of baby 'a'.
i took this photo 2 weeks before her arrival.
i know that they are spending lovely
alone time at home,
but i so want to see that baby
and give her a cuddle -
but i'll have to wait
until i am over this dreaded sickness.

a red lid

as promised here are a few photos -
taken for 'project red'.

a date

the first thursday of every month
i have a coffee date with my little sister.

this is a new tradition -
one i hope continues for a long time.
we only live an hours drive away from each other.
but life has been busy
and we haven't made it priority to get together.
usually it's with the kids -
and it's loud -
and busy,
and we don't get a chance to talk
about anything important.
today was our second date -
and i feel like i've gotten to know her better
in the last month -
than i have in years.
and i am so grateful for that.
i snagged this photo of her from her facebook,
cause i think it is gorgeous -
and because i forgot my camera again today.
and speaking of camera -
i have given myself a project to do.
it is called 'project red' -
in honor of valentines day.
every monday in february i will put up red photos -
that i have taken -
it's a pretty tall order for me -
watch for it.

an attitude

i've told my kids a lot
that life is sometimes about doing things
that we don't really WANT to do.
in fact - i tell them - that most of my day
is spent like this.
but what matters really is our attitude.
i decided that i hate going to the gym -
or working out at all.
it's hard,
it hurts,
it's sweaty -
and exhausting.
but i've told my kids that sometimes
the things you do when you don't really want to -
are the things that
you are so glad you made the effort for.

a good time

this week i am away.
we are spending time with friends
and family.
dawson finally arrived last night -
after much bus troubles.
we are skiing and snowboarding.
and hot springing.
the girls made fancy valentine cookies.

and we have plans to make homemade valentine cards.
the boys made us pizza.
the men have been playing pool -
and shooting the breeze.

the kids have been playing kinect,
and reading,
and exploring.
i have been re-learning crocheting -

and building colorful crocheted hats
to take to africa.
and knitting,
and drawing,
and eating,
and relaxing.
i am a lucky girl.

a hole

i have fallen into the same hole.
it is only january 19th -
and already i am jumping onto the busy train.
things just are always going to come up and
i am not always going to make the time
for what gives me peace.
yesterday i gave my time away to others
who needed my friendship and my listening ear.
but some of the time i felt selfish about it.
i know that it is not always about me
and i am called to do more
than just think about myself.
but it's hard.
this is a page in my sketchbook.

it is about my yoga class,
and teacher.
and how i appreciate what advice & insights she gives.
but it is also about how i know that there is only One
who can fill the hole in my soul -
and that is where i really need my focus to be.

a moment

well,
here i am -
almost a week since my last post.
and i could whinge about it,
and give many excuses -
but i won't. 
i didn't want it to be this way though.
i wanted to be regular enough blogger -
to have loyal followers -
who would read -
and miss me if i wasn't there.
i know that takes time - and patience.
and i haven't let any of my 'in person' friends know.
because i wanted to make 'new' friends.
i did finally get my first comment this week.
*insert joyful smile. (thank you michael).
so i know people are finding me.
i want to spend more time at this -
and sometimes i long to be here writing.
because i have much swirling around in my head.
i have moment before i tuck the kids into bed tonight
to post a piece from my sketchbook.

i wanted this blog to be a place to put this stuff.
and while i do have photos on here -
i want to do what i don't usually do.
does that make any sense?

a homebody

i am a homebody.
i love my house.
it really has everything i need -
i love the colors and most of the furniture.
i love the smell and how it is warm and inviting.

i love how my kids like to be home more than anywhere else.
i feel most peaceful when i can spend time
at home
doing homey things.
i strongly dislike the running around -
dropping kids off - picking them up -
school, piano, friends houses, shopping.
once i am out there doing it it's not so bad.
it's just the leaving.
when devin was in grade one-
he cried every morning for a few months
whenever i dropped him off.
he said it wasn't that he didn't like school,
or his teacher,
or his friends.
he just wanted to be home -
with me.
i know i just need to embrace this necessity,
and find a balance.
and schedule that works.
right now i need to go pick up a birthday gift for my sister -
and a space heater for my studio (brrr my fingers are numb) -
and pick up the kids -
and drive to piano...

a resolution

for many years i made resolutions.
or resolution.
always the same one.
then the last few years i gave up -
on that type of thinking.
i never followed through -
and figured it was useless to even try.
this year i want it to be different.
i have goals -
things i want to do -
things i want to accomplish.
so i will write them down this time -
and i will look back at it -
and keep myself in check.
i have good, honest ideas -
problem is....
i'm too rough on myself.
if things don't go exactly as planned -
it's over.
i need more flexibility - but -
if there's too much flex -
the little devil on my left shoulder takes over.
i need balance.
so here's what i want to accomplish
starting now.
- i want to get to know the God of the universe better.
- i want good health and a fit body that is able.
- i want to spend time and be more understanding
in my relationships.
- i want to be less of me and more of others.
- i want to spend more time creatively than ever before.
- i want to do a 365 project - a photo a day.
- i want to get to know my digital camera better.
- and learn photoshop.
- i want to live more peacefully - less scheduled -
but still productive.
- i want to enjoy life as it comes - in little things,
like laundry, cooking and cleaning bathrooms.
- i want to be more grateful & thankful & content
with who i am, and what i have.
-i want to finish what i start.
whew! that was a long list, i'm sure there is more,
but my brain is getting tired already just thinking about it.